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Sexual & Hormone Health

Eat Watermelon for a Healthy Sex Life

file000343656915Nutrients in Watermelon Work Similarly to Viagra

One of the things I learned early on when looking at alternative health options to treat my multiple health conditions was that one of the worst detriments to our health comes from the foods we choose to eat. Well, it stands to reason that if food can cause negative health consequences, that when chosen properly, food could also cause positive health consequences.

That led me to learning more about things like the anti-inflammatory diet, the gluten-intolerance diet, the Paleo diet and more. Even the much discussed and debated Atkins low-carb/high-fat/moderate protein diet was created by a cardiologist to help his heart patients. So all these diets make it clear that, whether they work as intended or not, food itself can indeed have a medicinal or therapeutic or holistic effect on the body. Read the rest of this entry »

Dating and the Single Parent

Being Mom or Dad Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Date…

The homework is finished, dinner dishes finally washed and put away, the clothes and wet towels picked up from the floor of the bathroom, and the kids are all in bed. There is silence in the house, except for the sound of the television that’s always on in the background.You are alone. Read the rest of this entry »

Advice to Teens: How to Know when You’re in Love

Love and Infatuation and Attraction Are Different Things: How Do You Know the Difference?

As a mom of two kids, one who has just passed her teen years and one who is just moving into his, one of the questions they both have asked me is about love, relationships, and of course, sex. I like to think of myself as a somewhat progressive parent, in that I have no problems discussing real-life issues and my own experiences with my children. I’m honest with them, with age appropriateness, about my experiences in love and relationships.There are a lot of relationship scenarios and situations even adults don’t understand. If adults can’t even understand these ‘grownup’ things, I think it’s hardly fair that teens are expected to understand them.How to Know When You’re in Love: Love Doesn’t Make Sense Read the rest of this entry »

Sex After Menopause

Does Female Sexuality End After Menopause?

Menopause is a time of change in the way a woman’s body functions, which is why menopause is often called ‘the change of life’. Some women look at menopause as a very freeing thing, while others look at menopause as the end of their youth or even let menopause affect how they see themselves as a woman. How a woman views menopause can affect how she feels about herself and her body while going through menopause, and those feelings, along with physical changes in the body, can have a profound impact on an otherwise normal sex life.

Even though there are many body changes that can result from menopause, the one thing that doesn’t have to change is having an active, satisfying sex life after menopause. In fact, for a wife and a mother, menopause might just be the best sex time in her life! Think about it: no worries about pregnancy or birth control; the kids are grown or almost grown; and since men go through their own hormonal changes at about the same age, he might just have to physically spend more time on foreplay! Read the rest of this entry »

Objectum Sexuality: A Glimpse into the World of Objectophiles

Can Someone Be Intimately or Romantically in Love with an Object?

A few years back, I was dating a man who drove over to my house in a classic hot rod car he had just purchased for a very good price. When he asked me to come outside, he was nearly drooling over this car, laid on the hood and ‘hugged’ it and told me when he saw the car, it gave him a ‘woody’. He lovingly rubbed his hand over the curves of the car and asked me, “Isn’t she beautiful?

In reality, this man was probably being more metaphorical in his expression of how much he really wanted this car.

But what if he was serious? Can a person really fall in love with and become involved in a relationship with an object?

Objectum Sexuality: Objectophiles

Objectum-Sexual Woman Marries The Eiffel Tower

I recently was talking to my little brother, and he told me the story of Erika La Tour Eiffel, an ex US Army Helicopter Pilot, who recently married–yes, that’s right, married–the Eiffel Tower. She has legally changed her last name to La Tour Eiffel, taking the name of her new spouse.

Objectum Sexuality: Communicating with and Relating to Objects

All right, I’m trying really hard to maintain an open mind here. I have long talked to many inanimate objects in a false personification. For example, the other day, my laptop computer crashed. I talked to it saying, “Come on, baby, don’t give up on me! It’s too soon for you to die!” I also have had some clunkers of cars in my past I used to encourage along, talking nicely to them and petting the dashboard asking them to please give me just a few more months before breaking down, just a few more months, please…

I was being silly.

But what if someone else says these things and they mean it, from an emotional, intellectual, romantic, and yes, even sexual aspect?

I don’t profess to understand Objectum Sexuality or the idea of objectophiles. I’ll admit to chuckling to myself when I first read the story of someone marrying an inanimate object. My first thought was: “How do you consummate a relationship with an object when you get married?”

Objectum Sexuality: Sexual Relations with Objects

Apparently, you can. The website for Objectum Sexuality International–a website created for the communion of other Object Sexuals looking for others who understand them–has a PDF FAQ from Erika La Tour Eiffel, who married the Eiffel Tower.

When asked about sexual relations with her object (the Eiffel Tower), she is quoted as saying, “…of course, we enjoy physical relations with our partners. Easy? Not exactly, but the connection happens even if the pieces do not fit. We each have our own means of physical union… or mental union… it could be a simple caress to much more. Beauty is in the eye…. just as sexual pleasure is… For me, I indeed feel a very spiritual connection with my lover when we make union with each other.”

Yes, she refers to the Eiffel Tower as her lover. In fact, in a video available widely on the internet, you can watch portions of a documentary where she visits her lover, her object spouse, the Eiffel Tower, wearing a skirt, with no undergarments, and straddles a metal section of the tower, so she can be in contact with it, with ‘no barriers’.

Of course, this is after she broke up with her former lover, Lance, who is a sophisticated archer’s bow. She said her interest in him waned over the years, but they remain friends.

Objectum Sexuality is Not Sex Using Objects

Perhaps you are considering this along the lines of a healthy sexual lifestyle that might include the use of romance or sex enhancing toys or objects, such as dildos and vibrators, to enhance sexual pleasure. However, it’s important to note that these Objectum Sexuals do not feel they are enhancing their masturbation. Rather, they actually believe they are sexually intimate with the object, not using the object to enhance intimate pleasure with another person or by themselves.

Objectum Sexuality – Defining Love

I confess, I don’t understand. Then again, how do you define love? I can no more explain how love for a husband feels, or love for a child feels, then I could love for, let’s say, my car. To me, there is no comparison. I do know that while I love my car, love driving my car, get a rush from doing so, I have never felt ‘in love’ with my car or wanted any type of relationship with my car, physical or sexual, and surely not romantic. And while I’ll sometimes talk to my car, I assure you my car doesn’t communicate back to me.

Additionally, I guess it could be argued that I have some sort of ‘relationship’ with my car. I touch it, drive it, feed it (gasoline), bathe it (wash the car), replace the tires, keep it running good, take it to the doctor when it’s sick (mechanic). So from a purely metaphorical aspect, as a writer, I can see how one can personify an object used regularly. If a person has a mental or emotional instability (it’s important to note that Erika has been sexually abused, on more than one occasion by human beings, from a young age and as an adult) it’s easy to see how one could mistake, misunderstood a relationship dynamic. I would think this is a mental illness that can be cured, corrected.

But some Objectum Sexuals actually don’t feel attracted to or in love with things they use regularly or even see regularly. For example, Erika doesn’t live in France. She returns on her anniversary to see her spouse, The Eiffel Tower. Some Objectum Sexuals actually fall in love with or are attracted to, sexually and physically, things they just happen to run across.

For example, in the documentary Strange Love: Married to the Eiffel Tower, one woman is in love with a huge metal road bridge. She visits it regularly and strokes it and kisses it, to the strange looks from passersby. She talks to it and tells it about her day and her life. Another woman loves fences, but not just any fence. She lusts after fences, and in the video, she can be seen straddling the fence and enjoying the physical pleasure from being close to it, and communicating to the fence.

Objectum Sexuality – Fetish or Dysfunction?

What is it that makes the natural tendency to enjoy the use of objects that a person has– the natural lust after a nice care or a fancy home or a supped up fancy computer–that for some people seems to go beyond the normal utilization of an object. I love driving my car, but hey, my relationship with my car is purely platonic!

And while I joke, I have so many questions this brings up. For example, how does Erika know that the Eiffel Tower loves her back? Seriously. I want to know! The Eiffel Tower is, in objective terms, a ‘celebrity’. Since no one can ASK the Eiffel Tower is he/she/it consents to the marriage, and since the Eiffel Tower obviously can’t sign a legally binding marriage contract, how do we know the Eiffel Tower wants to be with Erika too?

Oh, guess I should have mentioned, Erika says the Eiffel Tower is… female. So apparently, her marriage to the Eiffel Tower is a gay marriage too.

Is it conceited for an Objectum Sexual to fall I love with a landmark like that? Isn’t that somewhat akin to me waking up one day and saying, “Hey, I’m in love with Harrison Ford, so I’m going to marry him, and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t love me back. Oh, and hey, it doesn’t even matter if he’s already married!”

Yes, polyamory and polygamy is apparently very common with Objectum Sexuals, because, you see, how can you control how many people marry a wall?

A wall?

Yes.

Picture this. A woman, on a cold November day in 1989 wakes up and cries. Her husband is due to be killed that day, but it won’t be a slow and painless death like most death penalties, and her husband hasn’t committed any crimes.

Nonetheless, in Berlin, Germany, the woman watches while her husband is beaten and tortured, torn apart limb from limb, shattered internally with sledgehammers, while onlookers cheer.

The woman, Eija-Riitta Eklöf Berliner-Mauer, had married this man in 1979, and legally took his last name, Berliner-Mauer, which means… Berlin Wall.

As strange as it might seem, her feelings for the Berlin Wall, to her, were real. Can you imagine the horror she must have felt?

Eija-Riitta also was in love with a guillotine. Yes, a guillotine, the type where a sharp blade falls and chops things, best known for chopping off heads. From the video, we learn she also has a fence in her home, a small picket fence, that she is now in love with as well.

And when asked if she made love to the Berlin Wall during an interview, she said, “Yes, but that’s private.” She did respond that it was good.

While Erika has had relationships with human beings, she has not had sex with any human, and Eija-Riitta claims she’s never had a relationship of an intimate relation with any human.

And then there’s Amy Wolfe, who writes love poetry, kisses, caresses, and makes love to an amusement park ride called 1001Nacht. She puts her fingers into it’s oil and fluids, and smells the fluids, telling the ride it smells so good. She calls her lover ‘handsome’. Amy also used to call the Twin Towers her lover, as a single entity, a male, and she mourns the Towers’s collapse as she would the death of a human lover.

Objectum Sexuality and Links to Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome

While most people with autism or Asperger’s Syndrome are not Objectum Sexuals, a striking number of people identified as Objectum Sexuals are on the autistic spectrum.

My nephew is a child living with Asperger’s, and as I watched this documentary, they discussed how Amy, diagnosed with Asperger’s, used to always hold objects in her hands as a young child, because they provided her comfort and made her feel safe. My nephew has been the same. He has two little objects that he always carries with him, in his hands, and he will not go anywhere without them. The make him feel safe.

While I’m not saying my nephew is an Objectum Sexual, because he’s not, I can logically see how high functioning autistic spectrum patients might take that feeling of comfort and security that having those objects bring to the extreme. Think of a young child with a security blanket – Linus, the Peanuts character and his blanket he loved. Schroeder and his piano that he hugged and would not talk with Lucy because he loved his piano more.

Think of the comfort you feel when you’ve been on a long trip and you’re ready to come home, and you see the first familiar objects that let you know your trip is almost over, and you’re almost home. That welcoming site of the landmark that shows you you’re almost home… the relief it brings upon seeing it, the feelings it incites in you.

My personal opinion is that these feelings are normal, and Objectum Sexuals take those normal feelings we all have and magnify them in intensity.

Also, it’s important to note that those on the autistic spectrum have an inborn problem with establishing human relationships and connecting with other human beings on an emotional and at the extreme on a physical level.

Objectum Sexuality and Abuse

Those who are self-identifying as Objectum Sexuals who aren’t clinically diagnosed on the autistic spectrum (though many, many people fall on the autistic spectrum but are so high functioning they will never know it), are documented as being victims of abuse, molestation and sexual abuse as children or on into adulthood.

It is possible that someone can personify an object to love and make love to in their hearts and minds, because they believe people hurt them, and objects cannot hurt them that way.

I don’t know the answers. I don’t know the reason, and I must admit, I have so many questions this poses. While I don’t understand it, I must admit, life must be very difficult for these people who love objects, particularly those who love public objects.

The documentary ends with Erika speaking about the Eiffel Tower, her female lover and spouse, by saying, “… it doesn’t matter if anyone else believes me. I know she loves me and she knows I love her. That’s all that matters.”

They claim in the documentary that Objectum Sexuality is not a fetish, but rather is an actual sexual orientation.

What do you think? Leave me a comment below.

If you want to learn more, you can visit the following links (links intentionally not live, and some adult content (R rated, not X) might be found on these other sites, so proceed at your own discretion):

http://www.objectum-sexuality.org/

http://www.independent.co.uk/extras/sunday-review/living/i-married-the-eiffel-tower-832519.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/extras/sunday-review/living/i-married-the-eiffel-tower-832519.html

http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/entertainment/watch/v15067234mmpcQ7Xm

http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/entertainment/watch/v15067234mmpcQ7Xm#watch%3Dv15067244KY8AePDW

Tips for Teens: How to Know When You’re in Love

Falling in Love is Easy, Knowing You’re in Love Can Be Tough!

As a mom of two kids, one who has just passed her teen years and one who is just moving into his, one of the questions they both have asked me is about love, relationships, and of course, sex. I like to think of myself as a somewhat progressive parent, in that I have no problems discussing real-life issues and my own experiences with my children. I’m honest with them, with age appropriateness, about my experiences in love and relationships.

There are a lot of relationship scenarios and situations even adults don’t understand. If adults can’t even understand these ‘grownup’ things, I think it’s hardly fair that teens are expected to understand them. Read the rest of this entry »

Five Mistakes Women Make During Sex

Learn How to Make Sex the Best Sex Ever!

by Michelle Devon

Men and woman are very different when it comes to sex, and I think if more women realized this, they would learn how to enjoy sex more than they already do. Men look at sex completely differently than women do–big surprise, right?–and it’s the differences that are important for a woman to understand in order to have the most incredible sex ever.

Taking an informal polling of about 10 different men, I will share the discoveries I learned from our “best sex ever focus group”: Read the rest of this entry »

Benefits for Adult Breastfeeding or Adult Nursing Relationships

Can Adults Reap Benefits to Drinking Breast Milk and Adult Nursing?

In this world, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round, and in the past, I’ve written on some unusual relationships, including polyamorous relationships, objectum sexual relationships, and others. In this article, I want to discuss adult breastfeeding or adult nursing relationships.

I stumbled upon an article about adult breastfeeding in an adult nursing relationship and initially was quite surprised. Then, when I continued reading and thinking about it, the positive aspects of adult breastfeeding, both in and out of an adult nursing relationship, began to make sense to me. Read the rest of this entry »

What to Expect at Your First Gynecologist Visit

If You’ve Never Been to a Gynecologist, Read This!

My very first trip to a gynecologist was when I was pregnant with my daughter. While my mother took me to a pediatrician as a child and teen, she never actually took me to a gynecologist. Of course, I was a young mother, but even being pregnant, I was still a little shocked at what took place at my first appointment with a gynecologist.

When my daughter was 11 years old, I took her to her first gynecological visit. Of course, at that age, there isn’t much to expect, especially since she wasn’t sexually active. Her pediatrician had suggested it as a good course of action for all tween girls, before menstruation, in case the child has any issues to discuss.

What I Didn’t Expect at First Gynecologist Visit

I agreed with the pediatrician that taking an 11-12 year old girl to a gynecologist is a good idea. At this young of an age, it’s unlikely a pediatrician will perform a pelvic exam, unless the child is already menstruating or is sexually active. However, the gynecologist can ask questions about health and physical symptoms or conditions that a parent might not even know to ask, letting any problems be found early.

What I, as a parent, did not expect was that the doctor separated me and my child. At the pediatrician’s office, they would never ask me to wait in the waiting room while my child was examined, but at the gynecologist’s office, it was required. This unnerved me at first, until the gynecologist and the nurse at my daughter’s first gynecology visit explained.

With children being sexually active at much earlier ages these days, and with some children being afraid of talking with their parents, or some parents being unwilling or unable to be open with their children about sexuality, sometimes talking to a doctor makes things easier. Sexual and reproductive health is so very important, and sexual activity and problems related to reproductive organs should be discussed with a doctor who has all the facts.

The gynecologist at my daughter’s first gynecology visit wanted to talk to my daughter alone, fully clothed, in his office, with the nurse present, before he decided to do an exam or what exams he would do.

What to Expect at a First Gynecologist Visit

When we arrived at the gynecologist for my daughter’s first gynecologist visit, she and I both were given forms and a patient history to fill out. We returned these to the desk, and then waited for my daughter’s name to be called. The nurse then called us to come to the doctor’s office, where we sat in chairs across his desk and he and I discussed information about my daughter’s medical background.

That’s when the nurse escorted me back to the waiting room and then returned to the doctor’s office to visit with my daughter in private. If you are a teen reading this and are wondering what to expect at your first gynecology visit, it’s important to know that whatever you tell the doctor or nurse during this visit is completely, 100% confidential–they cannot, by law, tell your mother or father or anyone else, for that matter.

Doctor’s who break confidentiality can lose their license to practice and have to pay huge fines, so you can trust they are going to keep any secrets you tell the doctor or nurse during your first gynecology visit. In fact, if you are sexually active and you would like birth control, you can discuss this with the doctor in his office and he will perform the examinations and tests required to put you on birth control, and he will even give you your prescription in private if you do not want him or her to tell your parent.

If this is your first gynecology visit with your daughter, and you are a mom reading this article, it’s important for you to understand and respect your daughter’s privacy about this issue. Don’t grill or drill her for information about what she said. If she wants to talk to you about it, she can and will, but don’t push the issue. It’s better she be honest with the gynecologist and be healthy than to be fearful of telling the doctor the truth and risk having something serious happen to her health or body.

What Happens Next at First Gynecological Exams

Will the gynecologist do a pelvic exam? That depends on a number of factors, such as how old you/the patient are/is, whether you are sexually active, whether you’ve begun menstruating, whether you’re experiencing problems, etc. The gynecologist will tell you beforehand whether he or she plans to do an exam.

Even without a pelvic exam, you can expect the doctor to do some things to you that might be a bit embarrassing or uncomfortable, especially if you’re not used to people touching your body or seeing you without clothes. These are normal things the doctor has to do, and if you ask questions, he or the nurse will explain the procedure and why it’s important. Even with a doctor’s visit, you do have a right to say no, but be sure you fully understand why you’re saying no and what it is the doctor or nurse needs to do.

Where Will the Gynecologist Touch Me?

The gynecologist will likely want to inspect your breasts, vaginal area, pelvic area, and may want to perform an internal pelvic exam. The doctor will have to touch your body in all these areas, and him doing so is perfectly normal. If you have not been sexually active, it is unlikely the doctor will perform a pap smear test, so he or she will likely not have to use a speculum or other instruments in your vaginal area.

However, the gynecologist might choose to feel your ovaries, and this procedure will require the insertion of one or two gloved fingers into the vagina, while the doctor presses gently on your stomach/abdomen area to feel for the size, position and health of your ovaries. This is not a painful procedure.

Will the Gynecologist Insert Instruments or Tools in my Vagina?

As stated earlier, it is up to the doctor and dependent upon your age and other conditions. Most girls who are under a certain age and are not sexually active will not require a full vaginal exam or pap smear/test. However, every doctor is different, and some like to perform these exams on everyone, just to be sure and safe.

If the doctor decides to perform a full pelvic exam or pap smear/test on your first gynecology visit, he will use a tool called a speculum, a funny-shaped metal tool that will gently open your vaginal opening so the doctor can reach your cervix and take a small scraping with a wooden tool, to test the cells for abnormalities.

For most women, a pap test/pap smear like this is completely painless. For some women, there is tenderness, but most women say they feel nothing but a strange sensation that takes only a few seconds and then goes away. If you experience pain, tell your doctor immediately, as this is likely an indication of a problem.

Will They Take Blood at My First Gynecology Visit?

The doctor will determine if taking blood is necessary. It is likely he will want to perform certain regular blood tests, so yes, you can expect the nurse or phlebotomist to take blood during the visit.

Some Things to Keep In Mind At Your First Gynecology Visit:

If you have been sexually active and told the gynecologist, he will want to test you for sexually transmitted diseases, and he or she might want to discuss birth control with you.

You can be honest with the doctor about sexual activity, pain, problems, symptoms, etc, and they cannot by law tell your parents. It’s very important for your health and safety that your doctor knows your history and sexual activity. It’s not embarrassing and your doctor should be professional. If he or she is not, it’s okay to ask for a new doctor or to report any negative things the doctor says to your nurse.

It’s a scary and nervous time going for your first gynecological visit, but it’s part of your life and you should go at least once per year, every year, and more frequently if you have problems, to ensure your safety and health. There are many conditions that if caught early can be completely cured very easily but that could be deadly–or worse (yes, there are things worse than death!–if you don’t get them treated by getting over your fear and going to your first gynecological visit.

What to Expect with First-Time Sex

Is First-time Sex Really Painful? And other answers to hard to ask questions…

When I had sex for the first time, I was completely unprepared for the reality of a sexual encounter. I had read romance novels as a teen. I had watched movies where couples made love. I had even listened to a contraband record (a record is a flat vinyl disk that played songs for you CD and MP3-aged readers) that I sneaked out of my parents collection on how to please a man during sex.

Still, my first sexual experience was nothing like I expected it to be. I don’t expect your first time experience either was or will be anything like you expect/ed it to be either.

Still, if you’ve never had sex, you’re probably wondering what to expect, or have some common questions about the first-time sexual experience, and I think it’s important you know the answers to those questions. I sure would have liked to have had the internet back when I was first deciding about sexual activity, so I could be better informed and more prepared! Read the rest of this entry »

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