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Mental Health

Foods that Fight Depression: Eat Your Way to Happiness

Can Food Really Make You Feel Better Emotionally?

Time and time again, we’ve seen the female lead in a romantic comedy drown her sorrows in a bucket of ice cream. There’s long been the running joke about women and chocolate improving PMS symptoms and improving mood. It’s been said the enzymes in chocolate can mimic an ‘in love’ feeling.

There are foods considered aphrodisiacs that can increase sexual arousal and desire. With all this ‘evidence,’ it seems clear people believe food can and does alter body chemistry and thus influences mood. If this is the case, it makes sense that some foods can trigger depressive moods while other foods might actually help fight depression. Read the rest of this entry »

Objectum Sexuality: A Glimpse into the World of Objectophiles

Can Someone Be Intimately or Romantically in Love with an Object?

A few years back, I was dating a man who drove over to my house in a classic hot rod car he had just purchased for a very good price. When he asked me to come outside, he was nearly drooling over this car, laid on the hood and ‘hugged’ it and told me when he saw the car, it gave him a ‘woody’. He lovingly rubbed his hand over the curves of the car and asked me, “Isn’t she beautiful?

In reality, this man was probably being more metaphorical in his expression of how much he really wanted this car.

But what if he was serious? Can a person really fall in love with and become involved in a relationship with an object?

Objectum Sexuality: Objectophiles

Objectum-Sexual Woman Marries The Eiffel Tower

I recently was talking to my little brother, and he told me the story of Erika La Tour Eiffel, an ex US Army Helicopter Pilot, who recently married–yes, that’s right, married–the Eiffel Tower. She has legally changed her last name to La Tour Eiffel, taking the name of her new spouse.

Objectum Sexuality: Communicating with and Relating to Objects

All right, I’m trying really hard to maintain an open mind here. I have long talked to many inanimate objects in a false personification. For example, the other day, my laptop computer crashed. I talked to it saying, “Come on, baby, don’t give up on me! It’s too soon for you to die!” I also have had some clunkers of cars in my past I used to encourage along, talking nicely to them and petting the dashboard asking them to please give me just a few more months before breaking down, just a few more months, please…

I was being silly.

But what if someone else says these things and they mean it, from an emotional, intellectual, romantic, and yes, even sexual aspect?

I don’t profess to understand Objectum Sexuality or the idea of objectophiles. I’ll admit to chuckling to myself when I first read the story of someone marrying an inanimate object. My first thought was: “How do you consummate a relationship with an object when you get married?”

Objectum Sexuality: Sexual Relations with Objects

Apparently, you can. The website for Objectum Sexuality International–a website created for the communion of other Object Sexuals looking for others who understand them–has a PDF FAQ from Erika La Tour Eiffel, who married the Eiffel Tower.

When asked about sexual relations with her object (the Eiffel Tower), she is quoted as saying, “…of course, we enjoy physical relations with our partners. Easy? Not exactly, but the connection happens even if the pieces do not fit. We each have our own means of physical union… or mental union… it could be a simple caress to much more. Beauty is in the eye…. just as sexual pleasure is… For me, I indeed feel a very spiritual connection with my lover when we make union with each other.”

Yes, she refers to the Eiffel Tower as her lover. In fact, in a video available widely on the internet, you can watch portions of a documentary where she visits her lover, her object spouse, the Eiffel Tower, wearing a skirt, with no undergarments, and straddles a metal section of the tower, so she can be in contact with it, with ‘no barriers’.

Of course, this is after she broke up with her former lover, Lance, who is a sophisticated archer’s bow. She said her interest in him waned over the years, but they remain friends.

Objectum Sexuality is Not Sex Using Objects

Perhaps you are considering this along the lines of a healthy sexual lifestyle that might include the use of romance or sex enhancing toys or objects, such as dildos and vibrators, to enhance sexual pleasure. However, it’s important to note that these Objectum Sexuals do not feel they are enhancing their masturbation. Rather, they actually believe they are sexually intimate with the object, not using the object to enhance intimate pleasure with another person or by themselves.

Objectum Sexuality – Defining Love

I confess, I don’t understand. Then again, how do you define love? I can no more explain how love for a husband feels, or love for a child feels, then I could love for, let’s say, my car. To me, there is no comparison. I do know that while I love my car, love driving my car, get a rush from doing so, I have never felt ‘in love’ with my car or wanted any type of relationship with my car, physical or sexual, and surely not romantic. And while I’ll sometimes talk to my car, I assure you my car doesn’t communicate back to me.

Additionally, I guess it could be argued that I have some sort of ‘relationship’ with my car. I touch it, drive it, feed it (gasoline), bathe it (wash the car), replace the tires, keep it running good, take it to the doctor when it’s sick (mechanic). So from a purely metaphorical aspect, as a writer, I can see how one can personify an object used regularly. If a person has a mental or emotional instability (it’s important to note that Erika has been sexually abused, on more than one occasion by human beings, from a young age and as an adult) it’s easy to see how one could mistake, misunderstood a relationship dynamic. I would think this is a mental illness that can be cured, corrected.

But some Objectum Sexuals actually don’t feel attracted to or in love with things they use regularly or even see regularly. For example, Erika doesn’t live in France. She returns on her anniversary to see her spouse, The Eiffel Tower. Some Objectum Sexuals actually fall in love with or are attracted to, sexually and physically, things they just happen to run across.

For example, in the documentary Strange Love: Married to the Eiffel Tower, one woman is in love with a huge metal road bridge. She visits it regularly and strokes it and kisses it, to the strange looks from passersby. She talks to it and tells it about her day and her life. Another woman loves fences, but not just any fence. She lusts after fences, and in the video, she can be seen straddling the fence and enjoying the physical pleasure from being close to it, and communicating to the fence.

Objectum Sexuality – Fetish or Dysfunction?

What is it that makes the natural tendency to enjoy the use of objects that a person has– the natural lust after a nice care or a fancy home or a supped up fancy computer–that for some people seems to go beyond the normal utilization of an object. I love driving my car, but hey, my relationship with my car is purely platonic!

And while I joke, I have so many questions this brings up. For example, how does Erika know that the Eiffel Tower loves her back? Seriously. I want to know! The Eiffel Tower is, in objective terms, a ‘celebrity’. Since no one can ASK the Eiffel Tower is he/she/it consents to the marriage, and since the Eiffel Tower obviously can’t sign a legally binding marriage contract, how do we know the Eiffel Tower wants to be with Erika too?

Oh, guess I should have mentioned, Erika says the Eiffel Tower is… female. So apparently, her marriage to the Eiffel Tower is a gay marriage too.

Is it conceited for an Objectum Sexual to fall I love with a landmark like that? Isn’t that somewhat akin to me waking up one day and saying, “Hey, I’m in love with Harrison Ford, so I’m going to marry him, and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t love me back. Oh, and hey, it doesn’t even matter if he’s already married!”

Yes, polyamory and polygamy is apparently very common with Objectum Sexuals, because, you see, how can you control how many people marry a wall?

A wall?

Yes.

Picture this. A woman, on a cold November day in 1989 wakes up and cries. Her husband is due to be killed that day, but it won’t be a slow and painless death like most death penalties, and her husband hasn’t committed any crimes.

Nonetheless, in Berlin, Germany, the woman watches while her husband is beaten and tortured, torn apart limb from limb, shattered internally with sledgehammers, while onlookers cheer.

The woman, Eija-Riitta Eklöf Berliner-Mauer, had married this man in 1979, and legally took his last name, Berliner-Mauer, which means… Berlin Wall.

As strange as it might seem, her feelings for the Berlin Wall, to her, were real. Can you imagine the horror she must have felt?

Eija-Riitta also was in love with a guillotine. Yes, a guillotine, the type where a sharp blade falls and chops things, best known for chopping off heads. From the video, we learn she also has a fence in her home, a small picket fence, that she is now in love with as well.

And when asked if she made love to the Berlin Wall during an interview, she said, “Yes, but that’s private.” She did respond that it was good.

While Erika has had relationships with human beings, she has not had sex with any human, and Eija-Riitta claims she’s never had a relationship of an intimate relation with any human.

And then there’s Amy Wolfe, who writes love poetry, kisses, caresses, and makes love to an amusement park ride called 1001Nacht. She puts her fingers into it’s oil and fluids, and smells the fluids, telling the ride it smells so good. She calls her lover ‘handsome’. Amy also used to call the Twin Towers her lover, as a single entity, a male, and she mourns the Towers’s collapse as she would the death of a human lover.

Objectum Sexuality and Links to Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome

While most people with autism or Asperger’s Syndrome are not Objectum Sexuals, a striking number of people identified as Objectum Sexuals are on the autistic spectrum.

My nephew is a child living with Asperger’s, and as I watched this documentary, they discussed how Amy, diagnosed with Asperger’s, used to always hold objects in her hands as a young child, because they provided her comfort and made her feel safe. My nephew has been the same. He has two little objects that he always carries with him, in his hands, and he will not go anywhere without them. The make him feel safe.

While I’m not saying my nephew is an Objectum Sexual, because he’s not, I can logically see how high functioning autistic spectrum patients might take that feeling of comfort and security that having those objects bring to the extreme. Think of a young child with a security blanket – Linus, the Peanuts character and his blanket he loved. Schroeder and his piano that he hugged and would not talk with Lucy because he loved his piano more.

Think of the comfort you feel when you’ve been on a long trip and you’re ready to come home, and you see the first familiar objects that let you know your trip is almost over, and you’re almost home. That welcoming site of the landmark that shows you you’re almost home… the relief it brings upon seeing it, the feelings it incites in you.

My personal opinion is that these feelings are normal, and Objectum Sexuals take those normal feelings we all have and magnify them in intensity.

Also, it’s important to note that those on the autistic spectrum have an inborn problem with establishing human relationships and connecting with other human beings on an emotional and at the extreme on a physical level.

Objectum Sexuality and Abuse

Those who are self-identifying as Objectum Sexuals who aren’t clinically diagnosed on the autistic spectrum (though many, many people fall on the autistic spectrum but are so high functioning they will never know it), are documented as being victims of abuse, molestation and sexual abuse as children or on into adulthood.

It is possible that someone can personify an object to love and make love to in their hearts and minds, because they believe people hurt them, and objects cannot hurt them that way.

I don’t know the answers. I don’t know the reason, and I must admit, I have so many questions this poses. While I don’t understand it, I must admit, life must be very difficult for these people who love objects, particularly those who love public objects.

The documentary ends with Erika speaking about the Eiffel Tower, her female lover and spouse, by saying, “… it doesn’t matter if anyone else believes me. I know she loves me and she knows I love her. That’s all that matters.”

They claim in the documentary that Objectum Sexuality is not a fetish, but rather is an actual sexual orientation.

What do you think? Leave me a comment below.

If you want to learn more, you can visit the following links (links intentionally not live, and some adult content (R rated, not X) might be found on these other sites, so proceed at your own discretion):

http://www.objectum-sexuality.org/

http://www.independent.co.uk/extras/sunday-review/living/i-married-the-eiffel-tower-832519.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/extras/sunday-review/living/i-married-the-eiffel-tower-832519.html

http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/entertainment/watch/v15067234mmpcQ7Xm

http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/entertainment/watch/v15067234mmpcQ7Xm#watch%3Dv15067244KY8AePDW

Tips for Teens: How to Know When You’re in Love

Falling in Love is Easy, Knowing You’re in Love Can Be Tough!

As a mom of two kids, one who has just passed her teen years and one who is just moving into his, one of the questions they both have asked me is about love, relationships, and of course, sex. I like to think of myself as a somewhat progressive parent, in that I have no problems discussing real-life issues and my own experiences with my children. I’m honest with them, with age appropriateness, about my experiences in love and relationships.

There are a lot of relationship scenarios and situations even adults don’t understand. If adults can’t even understand these ‘grownup’ things, I think it’s hardly fair that teens are expected to understand them. Read the rest of this entry »

Benefits for Adult Breastfeeding or Adult Nursing Relationships

Can Adults Reap Benefits to Drinking Breast Milk and Adult Nursing?

In this world, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round, and in the past, I’ve written on some unusual relationships, including polyamorous relationships, objectum sexual relationships, and others. In this article, I want to discuss adult breastfeeding or adult nursing relationships.

I stumbled upon an article about adult breastfeeding in an adult nursing relationship and initially was quite surprised. Then, when I continued reading and thinking about it, the positive aspects of adult breastfeeding, both in and out of an adult nursing relationship, began to make sense to me. Read the rest of this entry »

ADD and ADHD: Learning Disorder or Sociological Shift?

Is Society Changing from Traditional Learning Modes?

 

My son was diagnosed several years ago as having ADHD with severe impulsivity. Ring of fire, they called it, because of the way the brain scans of a person with this type of ADHD appear to create a ring of orange and red fire around the lobes of the brain.

When I first learned of the diagnosis, I had heard of ADHD. After all, I owned and worked in a day care center years prior, and it was impossible not to hear that at least one child in the group had been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. However, my experience with ADD and ADHD as a child care provider was very different from my reality of living with an ADHD child. Read the rest of this entry »

Tips to Help Kids with Christmas Stress

Holidays Can Be Overwhelming to Children Too

Time off from school during the Christmas break sounds like a lot of fun until about two days into the Christmas school vacation, when video games become boring and there’s nothing on television but Christmas shows. That’s when Christmas stress for children can set in, and stress for your kids means stress for you too.

Of course, it doesn’t help any that you are likely more stressed and more rushed than usual during the holiday season trying to get all the last minute Christmas shopping, decorating, food buying and cooking done, and still have a few moments to yourself. Your kids are likely going to feel your stress and that will only add to theirs too. Read the rest of this entry »

Tips About Christmas for Divorced Parents

Help for Christmas with Your Kids After a Divorce

by Michelle Devon

There’s not a lot that can be said about divorce that is pleasant and fun for anyone involved, but divorce is perhaps hardest on the children, who probably don’t truly understand why mom and dad can’t live together anymore, and now they have to share Christmas in two or more households.

After a divorce, the holidays, particularly the first holidays together with your kids, can be awkward and stressful. If you’re nervous about the holidays with your kids, the following suggestions may help make Christmastime more pleasant for everyone concerned.

After Divorce Christmas with Kids Don’ts and Do-s:

DON’T lie to your children or manipulate them to get back at your ex spouse or try to use emotional blackmail to convince your child to want to spend the holidays with you instead, particularly if it is not your year for Christmas Day custody/visitation.

DO be honest and open with your children about your feelings and share information with them at age appropriate levels, but respect your child’s wishes if they do not choose to spend the holidays with you.

DON’T try to recreate the perfect family Christmas from the past or to try to make Christmas celebrations after a divorce be the same as they were before. Your children know that the divorce has changed things, and trying to recreate the perfect Christmas when both parents were together and shared a home will not work.

DO try too keep important family traditions to which your children are accustomed, even if celebrating Christmas is in a new home and one of the parents cannot be present. While you don’t want to try to recreate ‘Christmas before the divorce’, you do want to try to keep traditions that are important to your family and kids.

DON’T try to compensate for the absent parent or make up for the divorce by buying lots of presents or spending a lot of money.

DO be open and honest with your children about their feelings of spending Christmas without the other parent, make yourself available to talk about their needs and issues, and ensure your child feels loved and wanted.

DON’T talk bad about the other parent, make disparaging remarks about the other parent or their family – remember, you may not be married to that person anymore, but they are still your child’s family.

DO allow your child to talk about the other parent without comment, so your child knows that they can fully share all aspects of their life with you.

DON’T treat Christmas like a competition with the other parent, trying to one-up them on the presents, meals, traditions, etc.

DO speak with the other parent about what presents are appropriate for your child, particularly true if the child lives with the other parent, and to ensure you both don’t buy the same gift for the child.

DON’T exclude the other parent during your holiday Christmas shopping with your children.

DO allow your child to pick a gift for the other parent and be willing to pay for it or allow your child to use their own money to buy the gift for their parent. You may not want to buy a gift for their other parent, but you may be the only person they have to take them shopping to surprise mom or dad, and as their parent, it’s the right thing to do.

Keep in mind over the holidays in particular that court ordered visitation and custody arrangements are clearly made to assist parents when mutual agreement cannot be reached. In the spirit of the holidays, does it really matter is your children wake on Christmas Day and enjoy a leisurely breakfast with their other parent, which might make them an hour late coming home according to the court papers?

Which does more damage – the one hour they will miss with you or the angry words shared between you and the other parent when the children are handed over to you?

Think about what is best for the children first, and be flexible during the holidays. It’s not giving in to the other parent, and you’re already divorced, so it’s not about winning and losing. It should be about the children, and providing a stable and secure and happy holiday season for them, in spite of the divorce.

The best tip of all for celebrating Christmas with yours kids after a divorce is to be yourself, enjoy the time you spend with your kids, and be open and available to your children if they need to talk about their feelings concerning the changes because of the divorce.

If you can be open with your children and help them feel secure, Christmas can be as wonderful and special after a divorce as you hoped it would be before.

Zero Tolerance & Mental Health

Is Zero Tolerance Helping or Hurting Our Children?

by Michelle Devon

The concept of Zero Tolerance has been around since the mid-’80s, with new laws implemented to combat drugs, and particularly drugs in schools. Moving into the ’90s, in response to a rash of several high profile and horrendous school shootings across the country, the federal government, in 1994, initiated the Gun-Free Schools Act. This act, in part, required states to kick students out of school if they brought firearms to the school. While the law is well-intentioned, in recent years, several unexpected outcomes have resulted from the implementation of these laws, especially on the state levels.

“Zero Tolerance” is a term that is difficult to define, because it seems to mean different things to different locations and people, but basically means what it says – there is no tolerance for or leniency granted for circumstances surrounding the situation of an offense a child may commit, but rather a very specific consequence for the behavior or offense, regardless of the reasons behind the offense. Read the rest of this entry »

Methadone: Medical Detox for Heroin Addiction

Methadone: Medical Detox for Heroin Addiction

by Michelle Devon

Heroin is an illegal Schedule I narcotic, placing it in the group of the most highly addictive drugs available on the streets. There are many methods of using heroine, including: snorting, smoking, swallowing or injecting. Heroin is one of the few drugs known to sometimes cause an instant physical addiction in the brain.

Withdrawing from heroin is dangerous and could potentially be lethal. It is one of the most difficult drugs from which to detox, because the side effects of withdrawal will either kill you or make you wish you were dead. Read the rest of this entry »

Club Drugs – Dangerous and Deadly Fads

Club Drugs: Dangerous and Deadly Fads

by Michelle Devon

 

The Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) defines Club Drugs as: “Drugs popular with youth who are part of a club scene and want to take the drugs to gain increased stamina for late night dancing and partying. Generally includes marijuana, MDMA, LSD, and Ketamine. In the West and the South may also include methamphetamine and prescription drugs.” This article will explore several of the popular Club Drugs.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), other Club Drugs that are increasing in popularity are MDMA or Ecstasy, GHB or Liquid X, Rohypnolis or Roofies, methamphetamine or Meth. Read the rest of this entry »

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